Am I really a goat?

I wrote this post a while ago but thought I would share it here.

Monday, 13 December 2010

Am I really a goat?

Matthew 25: 31-44

The Sheep and the Goats

³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Yesterday as I was watching football(my favorite you know), snuggled up in my warm blanket, my oldest son came home from his church with a stranger in tow. We were not expecting this guest but we welcomed him, or did we? My son right away informed us that this stranger needed a warm place to stay for a couple of hours, so of course we said "sit down" and "can we get you something to drink?". And then we sat and continued to watch our football. Every now and then he spoke to us and we listened and responded but then went back to watching football. After a couple of hours my son needed to go back to his church for Sunday night prayer so he took him with him. His church found the man a place to stay for a couple of days and even fed him. So what is my issue today? Did I do all I should have to help this homeless young man? Did I show him the love of Christ? Did I lay down my comfort and my desires to make sure this man felt loved and graced? I have to say no, I didn't. I didn't do all I could have. I sat wondering if my son was going to take him with him or leave him for us to deal with. I wondered if we and our children were safe. Was he a mass murderer, a pedophile, or was he just a lost, homeless man? I waited to order food until he left. I prayed that my son would not bring him back home. How awful of me. I am truly amazed that the Lord tested us and I feel like we failed the test. I know I am being very vulnerable right now but it is the truth. I am confessing before my brothers and sisters and realizing that we are unprepared to really do what this scripture tells us to do. I have repented with the Lord and asked for forgiveness and to be honest have even asked for another chance. A chance to make it right and do what I knew in my heart I should have done. It wasn't enough to just allow him in and give him some water and I know it, I know it because I know my heart. It wasn't 100% in the right place. I praise God for my son, he did the right thing and I am thankful that he belongs to a church who stepped up and did what Christ would have them do. I know it wasn't all my responsibility but really, should I have just sat there and done nothing? NO, I know there were things I could have done different. I want the heart of Christ. Lord, I pray right now that you will give me your heart. Help me to see people the way you do and to treat them they way you would. Thank you for my son and his humbleness to listen to your Holy Spirit and pick this guy up out of the cold and help him find food and shelter in this bitter cold. Please Lord, forgive me and selfish heart. I pray that this man will find a purpose for you and live his life for you. I pray that you will continue to mold and shape my son and use him for your glory. In your Son's name, Amen. I don't want to be a goat. I want to be a sheep.

So how about you? What would you have done if you were put in the same situation? Come on now and be honest, the Lord already knows our hearts anyway.

El Roi The God Who Sees

El ROI - The God Who Sees

Genesis 16:13

¹³ She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen ^[c] the One who sees me."

A few months ago, I facilitated a bible study by Beth Moore called "The Patriarchs". Not only did I learn a lot about the history of our Patriarchs but I learned a lot about our God. Things that I might have known in my heart and mind but now have scripture to prove it.

My God is a God who sees me. Never has this been more evident to me than in the last couple of years. He saw my mourning of the loss of my mother. He saw the struggle I had learning to submit to my husband. He saw the pain and hurt I felt when a dear friend and I had to break our friendship. He saw the desire I had to minister to women. He even sees that I am learning to trust Him ever day with my children. He knows when I am so angry that I want to walk away from it all. He sees when I am mourning with a friend who is going through a loss. He sees when I am rejoicing with a friend who is rejoicing over His blessing to them. He sees it all. He even sees when I am at my wits end with my aunt but knowing all along that I will continue to love her.

He has seen my past and He knows my future. He has seen me stumble and fall and get back up again. He has seen me cry out to Him in all kinds of situations. He sees my struggles, my victories. He sees my heart, when it is right and when it is not. He sees it all.

But lately it is I who sees Him. I am paying attention to the way He is working around me, in me and through me. For example, those children of mine, when I am struggling to make sense of them He gives me a glimpse of what they could be. He reminds me that they really belong to Him and I am just a willing vessel trying to be a good steward of them. Teaching them and training them in His ways. Praying for them, rebuking them, correcting them. When I feel like a failure He allows me to see my youngest son reading His word before he goes to bed and my youngest daughter kneeling with her daddy praying for him before he shares His word. Or how about my oldest daughter taking a leap of faith and singing in front of the church for His glory. How about my oldest declaring his faith for all to see. Yes, my God sees my struggles and then He shows me what He can do if I would only open my eyes and see.

Then there is the retreat that I was asked to organize. To be honest after all I had went through I never thought that I would be the one organizing it. But, God is God and I did. He saw my desire and He granted it to me if only I would be willing to trust Him, lean on Him and believe that He is capable of anything. How awed I was to see that He used me, broken old me, to plan it and have so many women be blessed by it. He organized it really not me, I was just the vessel willing to be used.

To be really transparent, how about my marriage? He saw my desire to have a healthy, godly marriage. One that was reliant on Him and a witness to others. If only I would trust Him, submit to Him and my husband. I have seen a transformed man and in the process a strengthened marriage. I have been willing to be used.

My God saw the brokenness of my heart over a couple of friendships. He saw the pain and hurt, the struggle I had just to pass them in the church with my head held high reminding myself that I am His child and if I called myself His child then I would have to love them and forgive them and ask for forgiveness as well. I saw that He is a God that not only sees me but also is a God of restoration and over and over again He has proved to be faithful in that. Tonight, I saw my God open the door to healing like I have never seen before. I am weeping before Him and praising His Holy name. He is El Roi, the God who sees.

He is the God who sees me and He sees you as well. He sees the pain of broken relationships. He sees the loss of a loved one. He sees the daily struggles you have. He sees the tears you cry when no one else is looking. He sees the desires of your heart that no one else knows about. He sees the hurt of unresolved issues. He sees it all. The question is, will you see Him working through it all? Will you see Him walking with you in the good, the bad and the ugly? Oh my dear friend, will you be willing to allow Him to work it out through you? He is willing, are you?